1. There was a church
that had problems with outsiders parking in its parking lots so they put up a
sign:
CHURCH CAR PARK - FOR
MEMBERS ONLY. Trespassers will be baptized.
2. "No God - No
Peace; Know God - Know Peace."
3. "Free trip to
heaven. Details inside!"
4. "Try our
Sundays. They are better than Baskin Robbins."
5. "Searching
for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!"
6. An ad for one Church
has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments
are inscribed and a headline that reads:
"For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets."
"For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets."
7. When the restaurant
next to Church put out a big sign with red letters that said, "Open
Sundays," the church reciprocated with its own message: "We
are open on Sundays, too."
8. "People are
like tea bags -- you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong
they are."
9. "Fight truth
decay -- study the Bible daily."
10. "How will
you spend eternity - Smoking or Non-smoking?"
11. "Dusty
Bibles lead to dirty lives"
12. "Come work
for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the
retirement benefits are out of this world."
13. "It is
unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin."
14. "Do not wait
for the hearse to take you to church."
15. "If you're
headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns."
16. "If you
don't like the way you were born, try being born again."
17. "Looking at
the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance
soon."
18. "This is a
ch_ _ ch. What is missing?" (U R)
19. "In the
dark? Follow the Son."
20. "Running low
on faith? Step in for a fill-up."
21. "If you
can't sleep, don't count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd."
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